--- title: "My mother, 81, discovered her 'millions' in investments are gone. What can I do?" description: "An 81-year-old woman discovered her retirement fund is significantly less than she believed, with only $500,000 instead of millions. Her daughter, who received $50,000 for a vehicle, is concerned abou" type: "news" locale: "en" url: "https://longbridge.com/en/news/256176814.md" published_at: "2025-09-05T18:05:32.000Z" --- # My mother, 81, discovered her 'millions' in investments are gone. What can I do? > An 81-year-old woman discovered her retirement fund is significantly less than she believed, with only $500,000 instead of millions. Her daughter, who received $50,000 for a vehicle, is concerned about her mother's financial management and independence. The daughter is unsure how to assist without causing conflict, considering options like hiring a financial adviser or obtaining power of attorney. If the situation worsens, guardianship may be necessary to manage her mother's finances and well-being. The article discusses the complexities of elder financial care and the potential need for intervention. By Quentin Fottrell 'She's a very proud woman' "Is there anything that I can do to help lessen the situation? Selling the car doesn't make sense." (Photo subject is a model.) Dear Quentin, My 81-year-old mom thought she was sitting on millions of dollars in her retirement fund. But what she thought was millions turned out to be less than $500,000. Before this happened, she gave me $50,000 to buy a new vehicle. I would have given the money back, but by the time we found out, I had already bought the new vehicle. Since all this was discovered, I've had to pay a few of her bills. Is there anything that I can do to help lessen the situation? Selling the car doesn't make sense as I would lose a lot of money due to depreciation. The only thing I can think of is to keep paying some of her bills. She lives on her own, the house is paid for, and she is a very proud woman and she won't admit that she makes mistakes (even with her nightly spending) so I'm in no position to even advise her on financial matters (plus we live thousands of miles apart). Is there anything I can do to help ease the situation? The Daughter You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually. Related: My grandmother gave her neighbor $6,000 to buy a car. There was no car. How can I protect her from further exploitation? It may be that you will have to choose - a cordial relationship or intervention. Dear Daughter, If this reversal of fortune does not provide a moment of grace where your mother accepts your help, you have limited options available to you that maintain the status quo. You are clearly concerned about your mother's ability to look after herself in the years ahead, and may have to take more direct action. This could cause a personal rift, but it could also help your mother. It may be that you will have to choose between a cordial relationship or intervention. The first question you want to ask is how your mother could believe she had millions of dollars saved for her retirement but only have $500,000 left. The good news is that $500,000 is better than $50,000. Given her age and the fact that she has no mortgage and is living off Social Security, she should have enough to get her through her lifetime. But you do want to preserve the remainder of her assets and figure out what went wrong. It may be that you will have to choose between a cordial relationship or intervention. There are several possibilities: She could have invested the money poorly - risky stocks, a lack of diversification etc. - or she may have fallen prey to an unscrupulous financial adviser or "friend" or neighbor who accessed her accounts. Or she may have a spending and/or gambling problem. Hiring a financial adviser to help her manage her assets would provide you with answers. Alternatively, you could ask her to give you power of attorney. Failing that, you have a rockier road ahead. On your next visit, assuming you take regular visits (even annually), you will be able to help organize her paperwork and even accompany her to a doctor's appointment. A court will not grant conservatorship because your mother spends too much money. In the absence of dementia or signs of dementia, forgetting to pay bills, falling victim to scammers and/or displaying an ability to manage her life would raise the bar. Related: 'I'm asking for a friend': Will the IRS write off $60,000 lost in a romance phishing scam? Guardianship as a last resort And if your mother's situation deteriorates? A full guardianship and conservatorship would allow you to make important decisions in terms of finances, health and well-being, including the type of medical care an elderly parent will receive and where she will live, according to Crowe Estate Planning and Probate, which has offices in Tennessee and Kentucky. Laws on guardianships and conservatorships vary by state. "A guardian is also responsible for day-to-day activities, like paying bills and writing checks. Guardians have to report to the court that awarded the guardianship to receive approval for major decisions, such as the sale of a home in the parents' names," the law firm adds. "In some instances, a court may be inclined to award partial or limited guardianship when a parent shows they can still make some decisions but need help in other areas." You can alert your mother's bank, credit union and/or credit-card company without discussing her accounts in detail. In the meantime, you can report any concerns to your mother's bank, credit union and/or credit-card company without discussing her accounts in detail. The National Careline offers, among other organizations, advice on next steps, including contacting the local council and reporting the issue to her local adult protective services, district attorney's office, and/or to the police or sheriff's office. Find your local APS here. As your mother's daughter and, perhaps, only child, you are in pole position to advise your mother about the management of her finances and/or recommend an adviser to help, regardless of how proud she may be. Acknowledging how important privacy and pride are to her should not negate any offer of help. You could frame it like: "I've had great success with this particular adviser, and I'd like their services to be my gift to you." She bought you a $50,000 car. Generosity can work both ways, but it can involve time as well as money. Related: I'm 70 and have $2.6 million for retirement. Is 80% in equities too risky? More columns from Quentin Fottrell: Do I take a $70K job at 74 and lose my Section 8 housing allowance? 'I can only rely on me': How do I protect myself from my parents' nursing-home bills? After my father died, my stepsister transferred assets into her name. What now? Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where we look for answers to life's thorniest money issues. Post your questions or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns. By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms. \-Quentin Fottrell This content was created by MarketWatch, which is operated by Dow Jones & Co. MarketWatch is published independently from Dow Jones Newswires and The Wall Street Journal. 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