I've seen trading algorithms dump unrelated tickers into a "Miscellaneous" bucket countless times. Usually, it just means the machine gave up. But when you look closely at these 10 stocks bundled together in 2026, you get a perfect, darkly comedic snapshot of the fractured reality of Wall Street. On one side, cash-printing adults; on the other, an absurd survival royale. This is stupid and here's why.

The adults in the room are busy making actual money. Williams Companies (WMB.US) has been rallying recently, having just pulled in a massive USD 5.34 billion investment led by Blackstone for its power joint venture. Their Q1 adjusted EBITDA hit a record USD 2.25 billion. That is what real infrastructure looks like. Similarly, Ares Capital (ARCC.US) just upsized its credit facility to USD 5.5 billion. While Silicon Valley incinerates cash on AI fantasies, Ares is sitting on a USD 29.5 billion portfolio that actually prints cash.

Speaking of AI, Thomson Reuters (TRI.US) is one of the few legacy players not pretending to sleep. Steve Hasker isn't wasting time having LLMs write poetry; he's shoving CoCounsel into boring legal and tax software, pushing Q1 adjusted EBITDA up 13% to USD 243 million. The stock is outperforming because they figured out actual monetization.

Some take the exit, others build monuments. SkyWater Technology (SKYT.US) posted a record USD 442 million in FY2025 revenue and wisely decided to let IonQ acquire them for USD 35 per share in a deal closing this July. A graceful exit. Meanwhile, Manchester United (MANU.US) has been trading sideways recently. Despite a Q3 revenue bump of 18.1% to GBP 189.5 million, management is distracted by securing land for a 100,000-seat stadium. Why aren't you moving faster to just win some football games first, Jim?

Then we have the buzzword bingo champions. Xiao-I (AIXI.US) barely managed to regain Nasdaq compliance and is now busy fighting a patent war with Tim Cook's Apple. Good luck with that. NewGenIvf (NIVF.US), an IVF clinic expanding in the UAE, decided it was a great idea to drop USD 7.5 million to up its stake in an AI startup. It's like pouring diesel into your morning coffee.

The bottom-feeders here are an insult to public markets. Meiwu Technology (WNW.US) pivoted from food to skincare, sold a dormant SMS subsidiary for USD 100—yes, one hundred bucks—and then announced it's putting 50% of its raised capital into Bitcoin. How ridiculous is this? It's like watching a desperate gambler double down. Elong Power (ELPW.US) is equally embarrassing, relying on a 1-for-80 reverse split just to stay listed while scraping by on USD 6 million public offerings.

Finally, a salute to MV Oil Trust (MVO.US). The trust's net profits interest terminated in June, it dissolved, and management honestly told investors the unit price will plunge to zero before delisting. In a market full of vaporware, this kind of "we are completely dead" transparency is incredibly refreshing.

Public markets were never meant to be a charity for failing business models. The fact that these 10 companies are grouped together proves a harsh truth: the competent are raising billions, while the incompetent are surviving on Bitcoin pivots and reverse splits. Do yourself a favor and stick with the adults.

This article does not constitute investment advice.