I have seen a lot of bizarre portfolios in my time, but when you throw a legacy printer company, an AI-pivoting Korean telco, and a bunch of 2x leveraged ETFs into the same basket, you aren't looking at a coherent strategy. You are looking at the pure, unadulterated anxiety of the 2026 market. This is stupid and here's why.

Xerox (XRX.US)

Who is still printing? Xerox’s stock performance has been largely uninspiring recently. Sure, they boosted Q2 2026 revenue by 24% to USD 1.92B, mostly by swallowing Lexmark. But the real story is the 1,255 jobs they slashed in the first half of the year to make the math work. Trying to shrink your way to growth? Good luck with that.

SK Telecom (SKM.US)

This is one of the few here actually doing the work. SKM has been outperforming the sector, posting a massive 67.3% jump in Q2 operating profit to KRW 566B. Instead of chasing fake metaverse trends, they are aggressively building AI data centers, with AIDC revenue skyrocketing 92.5%. Why aren't other legacy telcos moving faster like this?

Herbalife (HLF.US)

The wellness MLM's stock has taken a beating lately. While Q2 2026 net sales ticked up 5.4% to USD 1.3B, their China business looks terminally ill, dropping for the ninth consecutive quarter. Add in a retiring CFO, and it is clear consumers are done swallowing this particular pill.

C3is Inc. (CISS.US)

A shipping company that posted a stunning 358% surge in Q1 adjusted net income. Sounds great, right? Then look at their stock, which has been bleeding out all year. They pulled a 1-for-7 reverse split and diluted shareholders with a USD 6M offering at USD 0.52 a pop. Punishing retail investors to stay afloat is a classic shipping industry scam.

Micro-Cap Distractions (GLDG.US & DETX.US)

When tech gets too weird, money hides in the dirt or at the airport. GoldMining (GLDG.US) shares have seen a recent uptick, touting a USD 532M after-tax NPV for their Brazil project. Meanwhile, Liberty Defense (DETX.US), a tiny USD 20M market cap company hawking 3D security scanners, saw revenue plunge 38%. It is a wild goose chase for returns in the micro-cap basement.

The ETF Casino

Finally, the derivatives. Kurv Memory Select ETF (KMEM.US) tries to package the memory chip bottleneck but has been sliding since its mid-2026 launch. As for the leveraged bets—Tradr 2X Long Innovation 100 (QQQP.US), Leverage Shares 2X Long HPE (HPEL.US), and Leverage Shares 2X Long ECHO (ECHX.US)—who looks at struggling EchoStar or legacy HP Enterprise and thinks, "Let's put 2x leverage on that"? It is like pouring gasoline on a dumpster fire.

This feels exactly like the dot-com hangover where people just threw money at whatever had a ticker symbol. Real companies do not need reverse splits or double leverage to be relevant. The truth is, aside from the ones actually building AI infrastructure, the rest of this list is sleepwalking. My view is simple: stop buying the market's leftovers.

This article does not constitute investment advice.