'So much for holiday cheer': I saw a guest take a bottle of wine as they left a Christmas party. Do I tell the host?

By Quentin Fottrell 'I guess he thought no one would notice. It came in a gift bag, and it looked expensive.' "There was an endless supply of wine and beer. If one went missing, they'd hardly miss it." (Photo subject is a model.) Dear Quentin, I attended a Christmas party in my neighborhood last night. I go to this party every year, and it's usually a small group of people (20 maximum, plus their kids) from our school and college days, and some people from the arts (our shared profession) and the neighborhood. The hostess usually puts on a nice spread: dips, fresh bread, cuts of ham and beef, Christmas tree-shaped chips with hummus and salsa cruda, mince pies, chocolate squares, etc. There was an endless supply of wine and beer. If one went missing, they'd hardly miss it. She lives in a large four-story home with her husband and two children. Basically, the party is your typical glamorous Hallmark Christmas Movie of the Week, with lots of well-heeled guests milling around, but with more expensive furniture and better interior design. It's usually held on Dec. 23, so it's great after holiday shopping. This year, I saw a friend of a friend, someone I knew from school, snatching a bottle of wine on the way out the door. I guess he thought no one would notice. It came in a gift bag, and it looked expensive. So much for holiday cheer. Do I tell the host? The Guest Don't miss: 'I'm cursed': My friend canceled Christmas lunch - now he expects us to split the 50% restaurant deposit. Is that fair? You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, By emailing your questions to the Moneyist or posting your dilemmas on the Moneyist Facebook group, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch. The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually. People do weird things at all times of the year, but Christmas can be a trying time emotionally for some people. Dear Guest, Think twice before becoming the snitch that stole Christmas. I call the day before Christmas Eve "Christmas Adam," and I concur that it's a great evening to have a party. People are still hyped up for the holidays, and it's nice to have a low-impact affair where you know (a) to eat beforehand and (b) a bottle of wine or a few portions of cheese will be well received. Also, it's a perfect time of year to catch up with old friends from school and college. Everyone is usually in high spirits, and the goodwill is high. People do weird things at all times of the year, but Christmas can be a trying time emotionally for some people. Even if they're not alone, it can remind them of a tough childhood or people who are no longer here. Party guests can eat too much, drink too much, say too much, stay too late or arrive too late (because they've been drinking too much prior to arrival). Yes, they can do some really stupid things, such as grabbing a bottle of wine on the way out the door. Here are some (implausible) explanations: Maybe this guest brought that bottle and decided to take it with him when he left because he had a pit stop to make on the way home, or another Christmas drinks the following day; perhaps he brought two bottles and he always meant to take one home or, as you suggest, this bottle could have been brought by someone else and, in a moment of alcohol-induced ill-judgment or just plain idiocy, he decided to snatch it. Don't miss: 'You need a third job or a rich husband': I fell victim to Allen Stanford's multibillion-dollar Ponzi scheme and survived Public humiliation and private scorn Enough stretching for excuses for such behavior; let's assume he stole the bottle, which did not belong to him, and he was caught in the act by your good self as you descended the stairs after powdering your nose. Now what should you do? The alleged bottle thief could suffer public humiliation and/or private scorn if you tell the host and other guests what happened. The host might not laugh it off; she could feel violated and hurt. If you want this to be your parting gift this holiday season, tell the host. But I don't recommend you do so. If you believe it's better to exercise some Christmas charity and/or give this guest the benefit of the doubt. Something I do recommend, keep what you saw between you, me and the fairy on top of the tree. You can go on with your life free of other people's chicanery and hopefully enjoy the last days of 2025 without being caught up in a "L'Affaire du Vin Manquant." I'm guessing the wine didn't cost more than $30. If it really bothers you, why don't you contribute that amount to your favorite charity, and light a candle for all the souls in purgatory, including those poor, wretched souls who feel the need to pilfer other people's booze - especially after some sterling hospitality? Chances are, this guy will wake up the next morning and see the bottle of wine on his kitchen table and think, "Did I really do that last night?" He probably feels more awful about his after-hours pilfering than you do. More from Quentin Fottrell: I want to ask my family and friends to contribute $50 toward Christmas dinner. Is that bad etiquette? 'I'm left with a $100 Bûche de Noël for 10 people - and no place to go': My friends canceled Christmas dinner. Should I end the 30-year friendship? Is this life-changing Christmas gift from my new in-laws too good to be true? Check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, where we look for answers to life's thorniest money issues. Readers write to me with all sorts of dilemmas. Post your questions, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns. By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties. -Quentin Fottrell This content was created by MarketWatch, which is operated by Dow Jones & Co. MarketWatch is published independently from Dow Jones Newswires and The Wall Street Journal. (END) Dow Jones Newswires 12-25-25 1047ET