His Elderly Mother Spends Her Social Security At The Casino. Dave Ramsey Says, 'She Gets To Do Stupid Stuff Because Stupid Is Not Illegal Yet'

An emotional call to “The Ramsey Show” just before Christmas brought to light a tough family situation that many listeners could relate to: what do you do when an elderly parent develops a gambling addiction? Tough Love In The Face Of Addiction Tom, a caller from Syracuse, New York, shared that his 80-year-old mother had lost over $7,000 last year to casino gambling. She lives off about $2,300 a month in Social Security, and the addiction has caused him to stop helping her with bills, something he and his family had done for years since his father’s passing. Don't Miss: Americans With a Financial Plan Can 4X Their Wealth — Get Your Personalized Plan from a CFP Pro $100k+ in investable assets? Match with a fiduciary advisor for free to learn how you can maximize your retirement and save on taxes – no cost, no obligation. “I just have a lot of guilt as to not not helping her really with her bills any longer,” Tom said, explaining that even though he’s financially stable, he can’t bring himself to fund her lifestyle, especially knowing a car purchase will come up in the near future. Personal finance experts Dave Ramsey and John Delony didn't shy away from the hard truth. “When you assist someone in a self-destructive behavior, that is not help,” Ramsey said. “Buying a drunk a drink is not help.” Ramsey stressed that Tom wasn't wrong to set boundaries. “She'll never go without food or shelter,” Tom clarified, but he’s not willing to subsidize gambling. Ramsey agreed and laid it out like this: “She’s a legally competent adult and so the law says she gets to do stupid stuff because stupid is not illegal yet.” Delony reminded Tom that feelings like guilt and frustration are normal. “There's no bad feelings here. You’re allowed to feel guilty. You’re allowed to feel mad. It's just, what are you going to do next?” Trending: Wall Street's $12B Real Estate Manager Is Opening Its Doors to Individual Investors — Without the Crowdfunding Middlemen Boundaries Now, A Plan For Later The hosts urged Tom to sit down with his wife and figure out how they'd handle things when his mother's situation deteriorates further. “When the day comes that she’s moving into your house, which you know is going to come sooner rather than later, then you will be able to make choices for how you help and support and love her,” Delony said. Delony also speculated that loneliness might be a hidden driver of her gambling. "You go into a casino and there's people there. People will talk to you and they’ll smile to you and they'll bring you a Diet Coke," he said. On the question of buying her a car, Ramsey recommended keeping the title in Tom's name so she can't sell it and gamble the money. See Also: Forget Flipping Houses—This Fund Lets You Invest in Home Equity Like Wall Street Does Gambling's Wider Impact Both Ramsey and Delony used the call to comment on the broader issue of gambling's rising toll, especially sports betting apps. Ramsey used the call to criticize the growing impact of gambling across the country, particularly pointing to the rise of sports betting apps like FanDuel and DraftKings and their constant advertising during live sporting events. According to him, the trend is financially devastating families and contributing to widespread personal loss. “Vegas hotels were… built on the backs of losers,” he said. “And that's what you are when you walk in there. House wins, you’re a loser in so many ways.” Read Next: These five entrepreneurs are worth $223 billion – they all believe in one platform that offers a 7-9% target yield with monthly dividends Image: Shutterstock