Master Bao VS Trump, who comes out on top

The most thrilling news last night was Trump relentlessly bashing Powell. Trump started with 'pack your bags and get out,' and ended with 'I can fire you in a heartbeat.' Powell, however, is a tough nut to crack, insisting on the Fed's independence. One wants to cut rates to save the market, the other is dead set on fighting inflation—utterly irreconcilable.

Now, let's check the market: the S&P 500 edged up 0.13%, the Nasdaq dipped 0.13%, and the Dow took the hardest hit with a 1.33% drop—all thanks to that unlucky kid, UnitedHealth! Its earnings report triggered a free fall, dragging the Dow down with a brutal 22% plunge.

Meanwhile, Eli Lilly staged a dramatic comeback, with its oral weight-loss drug's Phase 3 data sending its stock soaring 14%. Honestly, the weight-loss drug market is more dramatic than 'Empresses in the Palace'—Novo Nordisk's Ozempic barely had time to reign before Eli Lilly's new contender stole the spotlight. One pharma company's gains come at another's expense.

Now, onto tariffs. Trump suddenly flirted with the EU and Japan, proposing 'ally-first negotiations.' Even wilder? Reuters dropped a bombshell that he's getting cold feet about China tariffs. Maybe he's staring at piles of unsold 'MAGA' hats in his warehouse?

As for Tesla, the refreshed Model Y's production keeps getting delayed, while its CEO obsesses over Optimus robots and AI. Next Tuesday's earnings might turn into a 'bomb horror show.'

That's all for today. My advice? Close your trading apps this Easter—watching your portfolio might trigger a heart attack. If you're itching for action, take a page from Trump and Powell: pick a fight with a friend for fun. Who knows? You might stumble onto a new business idea!

$Tesla(TSLA.US) $Unitedhealth(UNH.US)