🎪 U.S. Stocks Today · March 28 · Limited Tragedy Edition

Dow -1.73% | Nasdaq -2.15% | S&P -1.67%

U.S. and Israel suddenly decide: It's Friday, bored, let's bomb Iran for fun 💣

Wall Street: ??? I'm not closed yet!!!

Dow faints on the spot, drops 793 points

Emergency doctor (The Fed): I'm in a meeting, hold on 🩺

Tech stocks collectively issue a statement:

"We just sell ads and algorithms, we really don't know nuclear physics" 😭

The worst off are those who just added positions on Friday afternoon—

Your courage moves heaven and earth 🕯️🕯️🕯️

Oil price: Thanks to this war, I'm feeling better ⛽️📈$Occidental Petroleum(OXY.US)$Alphabet(GOOGL.US)$NVIDIA(NVDA.US)

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