<p>MaiPham 在她位于纽约的公寓中细致地重现了她的童年卧室——也许是作为一种定期逃避现实的工具，因为她并不在里面睡觉。</p>
<p>一张 “别打扰我” 的迈莉·赛勒斯海报挂在门上，墙上贴满了青少年偶像的海报，而她在 7 岁时首次在 YouTube 视频中拆封的 Littlest Pet Shop 玩偶则静静守护着。YouTuber 的愿景板上有 200 万订阅者的模拟图，暗示着她曾渴望实现的梦想。如今，她的订阅者已超过 300 万。这个粉色的房间充满了她青春期的片段，是她曾经的那个女孩的玩乐档案。</p>
<p>但我在采访时所站的房间不仅仅是她童年卧室的复制品。它是一个精心构建的场景，22 岁的她在这里录制她的播客 “MaiSpace”。每一个细节都是她曾经的孩子的见证，以及她希望拥有的房间。她成长的卧室常常让她感到窒息和被监视；而这个房间则是相反的，它是一个她终于可以按照自己的方式分享故事的空间。<strong>（观看上面的视频。）</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/HBTH340YjJgGSIVS.WdiWw--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/511b0cc6effb5f28eeb5d41a2eb77b27?x-oss-process=image/auto-orient,1/interlace,1/resize,w_1440,h_1440/quality,q_95/format,jpg" alt="" original-src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/HBTH340YjJgGSIVS.WdiWw--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/511b0cc6effb5f28eeb5d41a2eb77b27"/></p>
<p>网络名人 Mai Pham，播客 “MaiSpace” 的主持人，和她母亲送给她的玩具动物一起摆姿势，背景是她在纽约市重现的童年卧室。Shuran Huang 为 HuffPost 拍摄。</p>
<p>“我觉得作为一个孩子，我内心有很多悲伤，” 她告诉我。“老实说，只要我能记得的时间，我就一直很沮丧。但我内心也有一束光——一种快乐，一种创造和做孩子的渴望。”</p>
<p>这个房间是对她年轻时的回应，是对她作为孩子时所感受到的局限和孤独的温柔反驳。她在谈话时，手势指向周围的纪念品、纪念物和曾经提供自由一瞥的纸片。“我一直喜欢装饰，我做过房间巡礼之类的，但我的房间并不像这样。”</p>
<p>在她实际的童年家中，她渴望的幻想卧室在技术上是存在的——但它属于她的姐姐，姐姐的房间里有叮当作响的珠宝、光鲜的名人照片，以及让人感觉无比成熟的杂乱。</p>
<p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Lhegd6la_bCazEoQ2erVjQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/6d585b1ce8a1e841f8ded6630a8040fb?x-oss-process=image/auto-orient,1/interlace,1/resize,w_1440,h_1440/quality,q_95/format,jpg" alt="" original-src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Lhegd6la_bCazEoQ2erVjQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/6d585b1ce8a1e841f8ded6630a8040fb"/></p>
<p>“我一直喜欢装饰，我做过房间巡礼之类的，但我的房间并不像这样，” Pham 谈到她的空间时说。Shuran Huang 为 HuffPost 拍摄。</p>
<p>作为一个小女孩，Pham 会偷偷溜进那个房间，用她的相机拍摄 “早晨例行”。在屏幕上，短短几分钟里，她显得更成熟、更酷，已经在过着她渴望的女孩生活。</p>
<p>播客的布景是一种愿望的实现。她终于可以成为那个在酷房间里的女孩。“我真的很想为自己重现这一点，” 她说。“我还贴上了很多我以前的愿景板和旧音乐会门票，这样我就可以看到我走了多远。我还重新买了很多我一直想要的玩具。”</p>
<p>对于现在观看她的人来说，Pham 的故事始于互联网。一个青少年女孩记录她的日常，边折衣服边跟着播放列表唱歌，叙述高中和早期成年生活的起伏。但她为何将生活搬到网上的故事则要早得多，始于加拿大阿尔伯塔省的一个小镇。</p>
<p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/3oAB1Icifh6t_kzk1jlcLw--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/da74ee954e3d12621518d191e4db6ab9?x-oss-process=image/auto-orient,1/interlace,1/resize,w_1440,h_1440/quality,q_95/format,jpg" alt="" original-src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/3oAB1Icifh6t_kzk1jlcLw--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/da74ee954e3d12621518d191e4db6ab9"/></p>
<p>“我从来没有真正拥有过家庭的动态，我感到非常个体化，” Pham 说，她的父母是从越南移民到加拿大的。Shuran Huang 为 HuffPost 拍摄。</p>
<p>“我在一个非常小的镇子上长大……那里的白人占绝大多数，除了可能有我的表亲之类的人。我想在那个时候，我并不知道有什么不同，所以感觉很正常。但我觉得这可能影响了我现在的关系，因为在我年轻的时候，我从来没有被选择过。”</p>
<p>“被选择。” 这是一个简单的词，但对 Pham 来说，它承载着童年的渴望——不仅是在同龄人中，而是在她的家庭中，亲密关系从未真正扎根。</p>
<p>在成长过程中，独立似乎是一个遥不可及的梦想。Pham 在一个受保护的家庭中长大，目睹了她的父母，越南移民，努力经营他们的生意。她的父亲是八个孩子中仅有的两个儿子之一，被视为 “金童”，他的舒适和成功被优先考虑，而她的母亲，她对母亲的描述充满了温情，试图在家庭责任和重视牺牲而非个体的集体主义思维的狭窄框架内培养她。</p>
<p>她的祖母接手抚养 Pham 和她的兄弟姐妹，以便她的父母可以专注于工作，这种安排让她感到更加孤立而非联系。“我从来没有真正拥有过家庭的动态，我感到非常个体化，” 她说。“我甚至不被允许交朋友或和他们一起出去。这就是我上网的原因。”</p>
<p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/2bbJWX6YIn4urPgg8m12sQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/d323d23741b5430fb81287b3e08c7f1f?x-oss-process=image/auto-orient,1/interlace,1/resize,w_1440,h_1440/quality,q_95/format,jpg" alt="" original-src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/2bbJWX6YIn4urPgg8m12sQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/d323d23741b5430fb81287b3e08c7f1f"/></p>
<p>如今，Pham 在 YouTube 上拥有超过 300 万的订阅者。Shuran Huang 为 HuffPost 拍摄。</p>
<p>当 Pham 15 岁时，离家的时机感觉正好。她的哥哥首先搬了出去，随着他的离开，抚养孩子的祖母觉得自己已经完成了责任。一天早晨，在父亲对她大喊要她整理房间后，她将其视为离开的信号。“我让朋友来接我，我真的就再也没有回家。我在她的地下室里睡觉，然后我就从那里开始解决问题。”</p>
<p>在网上，Pham 在观众面前成长，观众看着她搬家、旅行以及经历爱情和心碎。在离线的世界里，处理她的家庭故事，尤其是那些仍然让她痛苦的部分，花了更长的时间。四年前，她墙上那张只有她和妈妈的简单照片条幅改变了一切。</p>
<p>当她告诉我这些时，她的声音开始颤抖。“我意识到……总有一天她会去世，我会很讨厌因为对我父亲的仇恨而后悔没有和她建立关系，” 她说。“如果我如此爱我的妈妈，我需要克服这一点……爱比恨更强大，我需要放下这一切。”</p>
<p>为了理解她的父母，她必须面对塑造他们的力量。他们总是在工作。她父亲的母亲通过接管抚养孩子的责任，推动她的儿子过上 “轻松” 的生活，而她的妈妈则被鼓励优先考虑丈夫和家庭，而不是孩子。在这种背景下，Pham 的妈妈从未真正以她可能想要的方式做母亲，而她在成长过程中感受到的距离，更多的是因为每个人都在履行角色，几乎没有亲密的空间。</p>
<p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/F4z2SP7R72I7iFCv1IvcmA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/59ea927d2aed4b8f355e922fe203b577?x-oss-process=image/auto-orient,1/interlace,1/resize,w_1440,h_1440/quality,q_95/format,jpg" alt="" original-src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/F4z2SP7R72I7iFCv1IvcmA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/59ea927d2aed4b8f355e922fe203b577"/></p>
<p>Pham 在家中与一尊让她想起祖母的佛像旁摆姿势拍照。Shuran Huang 为 HuffPost 提供</p>
<p>在那间纽约公寓里，她审视自己所建立的一切：独立、事业、实现的梦想。“我当时想，我在生活中处于一个相当不错的地方，我实现了很多梦想，” 她说。“如果我没有人可以分享这一切，那做这一切有什么意义？”</p>
<p>尽管经历了许多伤痛，她无法忽视家人给予的支持：当她需要帮助时，哥哥飞来帮她，姐姐在她无处可去时与她合租公寓。“每当我需要帮助时，他们总是在我身边，” Pham 说。因此，她拿起电话，哭着告诉他们：“我们需要一起过圣诞节。”</p>
<p>她为每个人买了机票，大约三年前，他们庆祝了自她 15 岁搬出以来的第一个真正的家庭圣诞节。</p>
<p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Wy97nWSLDwXCwGJlz7zbKA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/7a7f30a8b1fa4ec222c7642d8d14719c?x-oss-process=image/auto-orient,1/interlace,1/resize,w_1440,h_1440/quality,q_95/format,jpg" alt="" original-src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Wy97nWSLDwXCwGJlz7zbKA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/7a7f30a8b1fa4ec222c7642d8d14719c"/></p>
<p>互联网名人 Mai Pham 的家庭照片，她是播客 MaiSpace 的主持人，和她的父母及兄弟姐妹在她位于纽约的家中合影。Shuran Huang 为 HuffPost 提供</p>
<p>重建的童年卧室现在有了新的共鸣。在与家人重建关系后，在那里录制播客感觉既有意图又深具意义。</p>
<p>被曾经贴在愿景板上的梦想的证据所包围，Pham 也在练习一种不同的回忆。曾经感觉像是陷阱的房间，现在是她的想象力和创造力蓬勃发展的地方。“回顾我所取得的成就对我来说非常重要，但也要被年轻的我所包围……我不再把我的童年卧室视为一个让我感到被困的黑暗地方，而是看到它是一个如此美丽的地方，发生了如此多的创造。”</p>
<p><strong>在 HuffPost 上阅读原文</strong></p>

谷歌-C

谷歌-A

<p>梅·范（Mai Pham），一位 YouTube 明星，在她位于纽约市的公寓中重现了她的童年卧室，以用于她的播客 “MaiSpace”。这个房间反映了她的过去，成为她分享 15 岁离家和重新与家人联系故事的空间。它突显了她从加拿大阿尔伯塔省一个小镇出发的旅程</p>

<p>MaiPhamhas meticulously recreated her childhood bedroom in her New York apartment — perhaps as a vehicle for periodic escapism, since she doesn’t sleep in it.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>MaiPham 在她位于纽约的公寓中细致地重现了她的童年卧室——也许是作为一种定期逃避现实的工具，因为她并不在里面睡觉。</p>
</div><p>A “Don’t Bug Me” Miley Cyrus poster hangs on the door, teen heartthrobs plaster the walls, and Littlest Pet Shop figurines — the same ones she unboxed in her first YouTube video at age 7 — keep watch. The YouTuber’s vision board, complete with a mock-up of 2 million subscribers, hints at dreams she once longed to manifest. Today, she has more than 3 million. The pink room brims with fragments of her adolescence, a playful archive of the girl she used to be.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>一张 “别打扰我” 的迈莉·赛勒斯海报挂在门上，墙上贴满了青少年偶像的海报，而她在 7 岁时首次在 YouTube 视频中拆封的 Littlest Pet Shop 玩偶则静静守护着。YouTuber 的愿景板上有 200 万订阅者的模拟图，暗示着她曾渴望实现的梦想。如今，她的订阅者已超过 300 万。这个粉色的房间充满了她青春期的片段，是她曾经的那个女孩的玩乐档案。</p>
</div><p>But the room I’m standing in as I interview her is not just a replica of her childhood bedroom. It is a carefully constructed set where the 22-year-old records her podcast, “MaiSpace.” Each detail is a testament to the child she once was and the room she wished she’d had. The bedroom she grew up in often felt suffocating and watched; this one is built to be the opposite, a space where she can finally share her story on her own terms. <strong>(Watch the video above.)</strong></p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>但我在采访时所站的房间不仅仅是她童年卧室的复制品。它是一个精心构建的场景，22 岁的她在这里录制她的播客 “MaiSpace”。每一个细节都是她曾经的孩子的见证，以及她希望拥有的房间。她成长的卧室常常让她感到窒息和被监视；而这个房间则是相反的，它是一个她终于可以按照自己的方式分享故事的空间。<strong>（观看上面的视频。）</strong></p>
</div><p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/HBTH340YjJgGSIVS.WdiWw--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/511b0cc6effb5f28eeb5d41a2eb77b27" alt="" original-src="https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/HBTH340YjJgGSIVS.WdiWw--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/511b0cc6effb5f28eeb5d41a2eb77b27"/></p>
<p>Internet personality Mai Pham, host of the podcast &#34;MaiSpace,&#34; poses for a portrait with a stuffed animal her mother gave her, in a room she recreated to resemble her childhood bedroom in New York City. Shuran Huang for HuffPost</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>网络名人 Mai Pham，播客 “MaiSpace” 的主持人，和她母亲送给她的玩具动物一起摆姿势，背景是她在纽约市重现的童年卧室。Shuran Huang 为 HuffPost 拍摄。</p>
</div><p>“I think as a child, I had a lot of sadness in me,” she tells me. “Honestly, for as long as I can remember, I was pretty depressed. But there was also a light in me — a joy, a desire to create and be a kid.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“我觉得作为一个孩子，我内心有很多悲伤，” 她告诉我。“老实说，只要我能记得的时间，我就一直很沮丧。但我内心也有一束光——一种快乐，一种创造和做孩子的渴望。”</p>
</div><p>The room is an answer to that younger version of herself, a lovingly staged rebuttal to the limitations and loneliness she felt as a child. As she talks, she gestures around her at the memorabilia, keepsakes and scraps of paper that once offered glimpses of freedom beyond her family home. “I always loved decorating, and I did room tours and stuff, but my room didn’t look like this.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>这个房间是对她年轻时的回应，是对她作为孩子时所感受到的局限和孤独的温柔反驳。她在谈话时，手势指向周围的纪念品、纪念物和曾经提供自由一瞥的纸片。“我一直喜欢装饰，我做过房间巡礼之类的，但我的房间并不像这样。”</p>
</div><p>In her actual childhood home, the fantasy bedroom she longed for technically existed — but it belonged to her older sister, whose room had jangling jewelry, glossy photos of celebrities and the kind of clutter that made it feel impossibly grown-up.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>在她实际的童年家中，她渴望的幻想卧室在技术上是存在的——但它属于她的姐姐，姐姐的房间里有叮当作响的珠宝、光鲜的名人照片，以及让人感觉无比成熟的杂乱。</p>
</div><p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Lhegd6la_bCazEoQ2erVjQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/6d585b1ce8a1e841f8ded6630a8040fb" alt="" original-src="https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Lhegd6la_bCazEoQ2erVjQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/6d585b1ce8a1e841f8ded6630a8040fb"/></p>
<p>&#34;I always loved decorating, and I did room tours and stuff, but my room didn’t look like this,&#34; Pham says of her space. Shuran Huang for HuffPost</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“我一直喜欢装饰，我做过房间巡礼之类的，但我的房间并不像这样，” Pham 谈到她的空间时说。Shuran Huang 为 HuffPost 拍摄。</p>
</div><p>As a little girl, Pham would sneak into that room with her camera and film a “morning routine.” On screen, for a few stolen minutes, she was older, cooler, already living the version of girlhood she craved.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>作为一个小女孩，Pham 会偷偷溜进那个房间，用她的相机拍摄 “早晨例行”。在屏幕上，短短几分钟里，她显得更成熟、更酷，已经在过着她渴望的女孩生活。</p>
</div><p>The podcast set is a kind of wish fulfillment. She finally gets to be the girl in the cool room. “I really wanted to recreate that for myself,” she says. “And I also put up a lot of my old vision boards and old concert tickets so, like, I can see how far I’ve come as well. And I’ve also, like, re-bought a lot of the toys that I always wanted.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>播客的布景是一种愿望的实现。她终于可以成为那个在酷房间里的女孩。“我真的很想为自己重现这一点，” 她说。“我还贴上了很多我以前的愿景板和旧音乐会门票，这样我就可以看到我走了多远。我还重新买了很多我一直想要的玩具。”</p>
</div><p>For people who watch her now, Pham’s story begins on the internet. A teenage girl vlogging her days, folding laundry while singing along to her playlist, narrating the push and pull of high school and early adulthood. But the story behind why she took her life online starts much earlier, in a tiny town in Alberta, Canada.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>对于现在观看她的人来说，Pham 的故事始于互联网。一个青少年女孩记录她的日常，边折衣服边跟着播放列表唱歌，叙述高中和早期成年生活的起伏。但她为何将生活搬到网上的故事则要早得多，始于加拿大阿尔伯塔省的一个小镇。</p>
</div><p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/3oAB1Icifh6t_kzk1jlcLw--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/da74ee954e3d12621518d191e4db6ab9" alt="" original-src="https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/3oAB1Icifh6t_kzk1jlcLw--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/da74ee954e3d12621518d191e4db6ab9"/></p>
<p>“I never really had a family dynamic, and I felt very individualistic,” Pham, whose parents immigrated from Vietnam to Canada, said of her childhood. Shuran Huang for HuffPost</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“我从来没有真正拥有过家庭的动态，我感到非常个体化，” Pham 说，她的父母是从越南移民到加拿大的。Shuran Huang 为 HuffPost 拍摄。</p>
</div><p>“I grew up in a really small town. … It was all white people, aside from maybe like my cousin or something. I think at the time, I didn’t know any different, so it felt normal. But I think that maybe it’s affected the way that I have relationships now, because when I was younger, I was never really chosen too often.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“我在一个非常小的镇子上长大……那里的白人占绝大多数，除了可能有我的表亲之类的人。我想在那个时候，我并不知道有什么不同，所以感觉很正常。但我觉得这可能影响了我现在的关系，因为在我年轻的时候，我从来没有被选择过。”</p>
</div><p>“Chosen.” It’s a simple word, but for Pham, it carries the weight of childhood longing — not just among peers, but within her family, where closeness never fully took root.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“被选择。” 这是一个简单的词，但对 Pham 来说，它承载着童年的渴望——不仅是在同龄人中，而是在她的家庭中，亲密关系从未真正扎根。</p>
</div><p>Growing up, independence felt like a distant dream. Raised in a sheltered household, Pham watched her parents, immigrants from Vietnam, work tirelessly to run their business. Her father, one of only two sons in a family of eight, was treated as the “golden child,” his comfort and success prioritized above all else, while her mother, whom she speaks of fondly, tried to nurture her within the narrow confines of family duty and a collectivist mentality that prized sacrifice over individuality.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>在成长过程中，独立似乎是一个遥不可及的梦想。Pham 在一个受保护的家庭中长大，目睹了她的父母，越南移民，努力经营他们的生意。她的父亲是八个孩子中仅有的两个儿子之一，被视为 “金童”，他的舒适和成功被优先考虑，而她的母亲，她对母亲的描述充满了温情，试图在家庭责任和重视牺牲而非个体的集体主义思维的狭窄框架内培养她。</p>
</div><p>Her grandmother stepped in to raise Pham and her siblings so her parents could focus on work, an arrangement that left her feeling more isolated than connected. “I never really had a family dynamic, and I felt very individualistic,” she says. “I wasn’t even allowed to have friends or hang out with them. That’s why I got on the internet.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>她的祖母接手抚养 Pham 和她的兄弟姐妹，以便她的父母可以专注于工作，这种安排让她感到更加孤立而非联系。“我从来没有真正拥有过家庭的动态，我感到非常个体化，” 她说。“我甚至不被允许交朋友或和他们一起出去。这就是我上网的原因。”</p>
</div><p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/2bbJWX6YIn4urPgg8m12sQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/d323d23741b5430fb81287b3e08c7f1f" alt="" original-src="https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/2bbJWX6YIn4urPgg8m12sQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/d323d23741b5430fb81287b3e08c7f1f"/></p>
<p>Today, Pham has more than 3 million subscribers on YouTube. Shuran Huang for HuffPost</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>如今，Pham 在 YouTube 上拥有超过 300 万的订阅者。Shuran Huang 为 HuffPost 拍摄。</p>
</div><p>By the time Pham was 15, the timing felt right to leave home. Her older brother had moved out first, and with him gone, her grandmother, who had raised the children, felt she’d completed her responsibility. One morning, after her father yelled at her to clean her room, she saw it as a sign to leave. “I got my friend to pick me up, and I literally just never went back home. I slept in her basement, and I figured it out from there.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>当 Pham 15 岁时，离家的时机感觉正好。她的哥哥首先搬了出去，随着他的离开，抚养孩子的祖母觉得自己已经完成了责任。一天早晨，在父亲对她大喊要她整理房间后，她将其视为离开的信号。“我让朋友来接我，我真的就再也没有回家。我在她的地下室里睡觉，然后我就从那里开始解决问题。”</p>
</div><p>Online, Pham came of age in front of an audience that watched her move out, travel and navigate love and heartbreak. Offline, the work of processing her family story, the parts that still hurt, took much longer. Then, four years ago, a simple photo strip on her wall of just her and her mom shifted everything.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>在网上，Pham 在观众面前成长，观众看着她搬家、旅行以及经历爱情和心碎。在离线的世界里，处理她的家庭故事，尤其是那些仍然让她痛苦的部分，花了更长的时间。四年前，她墙上那张只有她和妈妈的简单照片条幅改变了一切。</p>
</div><p>As she tells me this, her voice starts to waver. “I realized … one day she’s gonna pass away, and I would hate to regret not having a relationship with her because of a hate for my dad,” she says. “If I love my mom so much, I need to get over this … love is stronger than hate, and I need to let that go.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>当她告诉我这些时，她的声音开始颤抖。“我意识到……总有一天她会去世，我会很讨厌因为对我父亲的仇恨而后悔没有和她建立关系，” 她说。“如果我如此爱我的妈妈，我需要克服这一点……爱比恨更强大，我需要放下这一切。”</p>
</div><p>To understand her parents, she had to reckon with the forces that shaped them. They were always working. Her father’s mother had pushed her son toward an “easy” life by taking over the child-rearing, and her mom was urged to prioritize her husband and the household over her children. In that context, Pham’s mom never truly got to mother in the way she might have wanted, and the distance she felt growing up was less about a lack of love than about everyone fulfilling roles that left little room for closeness.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>为了理解她的父母，她必须面对塑造他们的力量。他们总是在工作。她父亲的母亲通过接管抚养孩子的责任，推动她的儿子过上 “轻松” 的生活，而她的妈妈则被鼓励优先考虑丈夫和家庭，而不是孩子。在这种背景下，Pham 的妈妈从未真正以她可能想要的方式做母亲，而她在成长过程中感受到的距离，更多的是因为每个人都在履行角色，几乎没有亲密的空间。</p>
</div><p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/F4z2SP7R72I7iFCv1IvcmA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/59ea927d2aed4b8f355e922fe203b577" alt="" original-src="https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/F4z2SP7R72I7iFCv1IvcmA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/59ea927d2aed4b8f355e922fe203b577"/></p>
<p>Pham poses for a portrait beside a Buddha statue that reminds her of her grandmother, at her home. Shuran Huang for HuffPost</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>Pham 在家中与一尊让她想起祖母的佛像旁摆姿势拍照。Shuran Huang 为 HuffPost 提供</p>
</div><p>Alone in that New York apartment, she took stock of everything she had built: the independence, the career, the dreams that had come true. “I was like, I’m at a pretty good place in my life, and I’ve achieved a lot of my dreams,” she says. “What’s the point of doing all of this if I have no one to share it with?”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>在那间纽约公寓里，她审视自己所建立的一切：独立、事业、实现的梦想。“我当时想，我在生活中处于一个相当不错的地方，我实现了很多梦想，” 她说。“如果我没有人可以分享这一切，那做这一切有什么意义？”</p>
</div><p>For all the hurt, she could not ignore the ways her family had shown up: her brother flying in to help her when she needed it, her sister splitting an apartment with her when she had nowhere else to go. “Every time I needed help, they were always there for me,” Pham says. So she picked up the phone, sobbing, and told them, “We need to do Christmas together.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>尽管经历了许多伤痛，她无法忽视家人给予的支持：当她需要帮助时，哥哥飞来帮她，姐姐在她无处可去时与她合租公寓。“每当我需要帮助时，他们总是在我身边，” Pham 说。因此，她拿起电话，哭着告诉他们：“我们需要一起过圣诞节。”</p>
</div><p>She bought plane tickets for everyone, and about three years ago, they celebrated their first real family Christmas since she moved out at 15.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>她为每个人买了机票，大约三年前，他们庆祝了自她 15 岁搬出以来的第一个真正的家庭圣诞节。</p>
</div><p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Wy97nWSLDwXCwGJlz7zbKA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/7a7f30a8b1fa4ec222c7642d8d14719c" alt="" original-src="https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Wy97nWSLDwXCwGJlz7zbKA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/7a7f30a8b1fa4ec222c7642d8d14719c"/></p>
<p>A family photo of internet personality Mai Pham, host of the podcast MaiSpace, with her parents and siblings as seen in her home in New York. Shuran Huang for HuffPost</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>互联网名人 Mai Pham 的家庭照片，她是播客 MaiSpace 的主持人，和她的父母及兄弟姐妹在她位于纽约的家中合影。Shuran Huang 为 HuffPost 提供</p>
</div><p>The re-created childhood bedroom resonates in a new way now. After rebuilding her relationship with her family, recording the podcast there feels both intentional and deeply meaningful.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>重建的童年卧室现在有了新的共鸣。在与家人重建关系后，在那里录制播客感觉既有意图又深具意义。</p>
</div><p>Surrounded by the evidence of dreams once pinned to vision boards, Pham also practices a different kind of remembering. The room that once felt like a trap is now a place where her imagination and creativity flourish. “It’s really important for me to look back at the things that I’ve accomplished, but also be surrounded by younger me … Instead of seeing my childhood bedroom as a dark place that I literally felt trapped in, I can see it as what a beautiful place that so much creation happened.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>被曾经贴在愿景板上的梦想的证据所包围，Pham 也在练习一种不同的回忆。曾经感觉像是陷阱的房间，现在是她的想象力和创造力蓬勃发展的地方。“回顾我所取得的成就对我来说非常重要，但也要被年轻的我所包围……我不再把我的童年卧室视为一个让我感到被困的黑暗地方，而是看到它是一个如此美丽的地方，发生了如此多的创造。”</p>
</div><p><strong>Read the original on HuffPost</strong></p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p><strong>在 HuffPost 上阅读原文</strong></p>
</div>

Inside Mai Pham’s Re-Created Childhood Bedroom: From YouTube Dreams To Family Healing

- Mai Pham 在纽约公寓重建了童年卧室，作为逃避现实的空间。  
- 她的播客 “MaiSpace” 在此录制，展现了她的成长与梦想。  
- 经过与家人的和解，重建的卧室成为创造与回忆的美好场所。

在 Mai Pham 重现的童年卧室中：从 YouTube 梦想到家庭治愈