<p>我们都知道那种送礼的人——他们在递给你礼物时，立刻提到找到这个礼物有多困难、花了多少钱或者运送花了多长时间。礼仪专家表示，这种行为会让善意的举动变得不舒服，甚至显得无礼。</p>
<p>“在一个理想化的世界里，礼物是你对他人爱与尊重的具体表达，” Mannersmith 礼仪咨询公司的总裁 Jodi R.R. Smith 告诉 HuffPost。“它是你们关系的晴雨表。礼物是将你的感情转化为物品或体验的一种方式，而这种方式是你的言语或行为无法做到的。”</p>
<p><strong>生活：接受礼物时你能做的最无礼的事情</strong></p>
<p>但并不是每个人在送礼时都能反映出这种意义。即使是最有善意的赠送者也可能会陷入一些显得无礼的习惯。</p>
<p>HuffPost 请 Smith 和其他礼仪专家分享一些常见的送礼无礼行为。继续阅读，了解送礼时应避免的八个失礼之处以及你应该如何做。</p>
<h2><strong>提及价格</strong></h2>
<p>“在送礼时，不要告诉别人这件礼物花了多少钱，” 礼仪专家、播客 “你是被狼养大的？” 的联合主持人 Nick Leighton 说。“最好的礼物是那些用心的，而不是那些昂贵的。如果你回想一下你一生中收到的所有礼物，你最喜欢的那些肯定不是最贵的。”</p>
<p>礼物不必昂贵才能对接受者有价值。送礼者还应考虑与对方的关系以及什么价格范围是合适的。</p>
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<p>“无礼的行为是评论价格，” Smith 说。“赠送者应该在自己的预算范围内购物。你不应该为了送礼而负债。你可能花了少量或大量的钱。只要在你的预算范围内，这才是重要的。”</p>
<h2><strong>期待回礼</strong></h2>
<p>“最常见且无礼的失礼之一是，当你给某人礼物，他们兴奋地打开时，你接着说，‘那么，我的礼物呢？’” From the Inside-Out 礼仪学校的创始人 Jackie Vernon-Thompson 说。“这是一个巨大的禁忌。礼物绝不应该在期待收到回礼的情况下赠送。最纯粹的赠送形式根植于慷慨，而不是期待。”</p>
<p>她强调，赠送不是关于期待，而是关于自由地给予。</p>
<p>“如果你送的礼物附带条件，那它真的算是礼物吗？” Leighton 说。“如果一份礼物需要解释，那可能是它不是一份好礼物的迹象。”</p>
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<p>确实，唯一真正的回报是接受者的感激和兴奋的表情。如果你期待回礼，请考虑你可能会在不同的时间收到它。</p>
<p>“赠送确实倾向于是一种互惠关系。但它并不总是需要同时进行，” Smith 说。</p>
<p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/8o7JIg5s1wTwweNq7rnE3w--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/d159cb03c8bde1b40ed1edfb3a88be1b?x-oss-process=image/auto-orient,1/interlace,1/resize,w_1440,h_1440/quality,q_95/format,jpg" alt="" original-src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/8o7JIg5s1wTwweNq7rnE3w--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/d159cb03c8bde1b40ed1edfb3a88be1b"/></p>
<p>赠送不是关于期待。Anastasia Babenko via Getty Images</p>
<h2><strong>贬低你的礼物</strong></h2>
<p>Smith 建议在给接受者礼物时，不要立刻贬低你的礼物。</p>
<p>“‘这只是一些小东西。’‘我在打折时找到的。’‘这真的没什么大不了的。’ 停下。你在给某人礼物，不要贬低它，” 她说。</p>
<h2><strong>送出没有心意的礼物</strong></h2>
<p>“无礼的行为包括送出没有心意的礼物，” 礼仪专家、书籍《更好生活的现代礼仪》的作者 Diane Gottsman 说。“例如，明显被使用或磨损的东西。或者显然不适合他们的东西，或者在购买时几乎没有考虑。”</p>
<p>你的礼物不必昂贵，但应该表现出一定程度的关心或努力。</p>
<p>“对于礼物，确实是心意最重要，” Smith 说。“虽然很少有人会拒绝奢华的礼物，但你与接受者的关系越亲密，赠送时就应该投入更多的心思。”</p>
<h2><strong>不考虑接受者</strong></h2>
<p>“在送礼者方面，请考虑你要送给谁，并使其适合他们，而不是你想要的或你拥有的东西，并且经过一些思考你知道这并不合适，” Q&amp;A 平台 JustAnswer 的礼仪专家 August Abbott 说。“重要的是考虑你要送礼物的人，而不是你自己的喜好、需求和想要的东西。”</p>
<p>如果你对这个人不太了解，她建议选择一个安全的选项，比如咖啡店或外卖服务的礼品卡。</p>
<p>“在选择礼物之前，重要的是以意图和深思熟虑的方式接近这个过程，” Vernon-Thompson 说。“考虑接受者的个性、偏好和喜欢的事物。目标是选择他们真正会欣赏的东西，而不是一个会被搁置或遗忘的物品。轻微而微妙地询问他们的愿望清单通常是有帮助的——一点探询可以确保你的礼物真正引起共鸣。”</p>
<p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/6vEWzRjIxIeGSPGq_EyJjg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04MzA-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/bc66abfe5028377a2e7aee790bf12061?x-oss-process=image/auto-orient,1/interlace,1/resize,w_1440,h_1440/quality,q_95/format,jpg" alt="" original-src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/6vEWzRjIxIeGSPGq_EyJjg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04MzA-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/bc66abfe5028377a2e7aee790bf12061"/></p>
<p>注意你送礼的时间和场合。Maryna Terletska via Getty Images</p>
<h2><strong>送出不合适的礼物</strong></h2>
<p>“避免送出个人和亲密的礼物——内衣、浴袍、香水等等，” Vernon-Thompson 建议。“这些个人礼物可能暗示超出当前关系的东西。这肯定会让对方感到尴尬。”</p>
<p>她鼓励送礼者从接受者的角度考虑你们之间关系的性质和深度。</p>
<p>“你绝不想送出一份过于个人化、过于奢华或让人感到不适的礼物，因为你对关系的理解与他们不同，” Vernon-Thompson 说。“如果不确定，选择一些中性、合适和适度的礼物。过度消费可能无意中造成一种负担感——你可不想这样。”</p>
<h2><strong>明显的再赠礼</strong></h2>
<p>人们对再赠礼有很多看法，但 Smith 表示，只要不是明显的再赠礼，这样做是可以的。例如，把你从表弟那里收到的毛衣送给另一个表弟可能是在玩火。如果你是有意传递一个重要的家族传家宝，那么你可以坦诚它的意义和历史。</p>
<p>“否则，只要它是新的、未使用的、未拆封的，并且原赠与者和新的接受者不在同一个社交圈子里，再赠礼是完全可以接受的，” Smith 说。</p>
<h2><strong>在不合适的时间送礼</strong></h2>
<p>在选择送礼的时机上也有礼仪。</p>
<p>“赠与者还应该注意周围的环境，” Smith 说。“首先，如果没有其他人交换礼物，而在场有其他人，你的礼物应该暂时收起来，等到稍后再送。其次，如果正在进行其他活动，礼物可能需要等一等。”</p>
<h3>相关...</h3>
<ul>
<li>在招待过夜客人时你可以做的最无礼的事情</li>
<li>15 条你可以抛弃的过时礼仪规则，从肘部放在桌子上到葬礼着装</li>
<li>在节日聚会上你可以做的最无礼的事情</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>在 HuffPost 上阅读原文</strong></p>

<p>礼仪专家强调了在送礼中常见的粗鲁行为，例如提及礼物的价格、期待回礼、贬低礼物、送出缺乏心意的礼物以及不考虑收礼人的感受。他们强调，礼物应该是对爱与尊重的深思熟虑的表达，没有附加条件，并且应反映与收礼人之间的关系</p>

<p>We all know <em>that</em> gift giver ― the one who hands you a present and immediately mentions how hard it was to find, how expensive it was or how long the shipping took. Etiquette experts say behaviors like this can make a kind gesture feel uncomfortable and even rude.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>我们都知道那种送礼的人——他们在递给你礼物时，立刻提到找到这个礼物有多困难、花了多少钱或者运送花了多长时间。礼仪专家表示，这种行为会让善意的举动变得不舒服，甚至显得无礼。</p>
</div><p>“In an idealized world, gifts are a tangible expression of your love and esteem for someone else,” Jodi R.R. Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, told HuffPost. “It is a bellwether for your relationship. A gift is a way of turning your feelings into an object or experience is a way your words or actions cannot.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“在一个理想化的世界里，礼物是你对他人爱与尊重的具体表达，” Mannersmith 礼仪咨询公司的总裁 Jodi R.R. Smith 告诉 HuffPost。“它是你们关系的晴雨表。礼物是将你的感情转化为物品或体验的一种方式，而这种方式是你的言语或行为无法做到的。”</p>
</div><p><strong>Life: The Rudest Things You Can Do When Receiving A Gift</strong></p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p><strong>生活：接受礼物时你能做的最无礼的事情</strong></p>
</div><p>But not everyone approaches gift-giving in a way that reflects that meaning. Even the most well-intentioned giver can slip into habits that come off as rude.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>但并不是每个人在送礼时都能反映出这种意义。即使是最有善意的赠送者也可能会陷入一些显得无礼的习惯。</p>
</div><p>HuffPost asked Smith and other etiquette experts to share some common rude behaviors around gift-giving. Read on for eight faux pas to avoid when giving a gift and what you should do instead.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>HuffPost 请 Smith 和其他礼仪专家分享一些常见的送礼无礼行为。继续阅读，了解送礼时应避免的八个失礼之处以及你应该如何做。</p>
</div><h2><strong>Bringing Up The Cost</strong></h2>
<div class="lb-trans"><h2><strong>提及价格</strong></h2>
</div><p>“When giving a gift, don’t tell people how much it cost,” said Nick Leighton, an etiquette expert and cohost of the “Were You Raised by Wolves?” podcast. “The best gifts are the ones that are thoughtful, not the ones that are expensive. If you think back through all the gifts you’ve ever received in your life, the ones that you like the most definitely aren’t the most expensive ones.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“在送礼时，不要告诉别人这件礼物花了多少钱，” 礼仪专家、播客 “你是被狼养大的？” 的联合主持人 Nick Leighton 说。“最好的礼物是那些用心的，而不是那些昂贵的。如果你回想一下你一生中收到的所有礼物，你最喜欢的那些肯定不是最贵的。”</p>
</div><p>A present doesn’t have to be pricey to be valuable to the recipient. Gift-givers should also be mindful of the relationship they have with that person and what price range would be appropriate.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>礼物不必昂贵才能对接受者有价值。送礼者还应考虑与对方的关系以及什么价格范围是合适的。</p>
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<div class="lb-trans"><p><strong>生活：摄影师揭示他们在家庭照片中从不做的 1 件事</strong></p>
</div><p>“A rude behavior is commenting on the price,” Smith said. “Givers should be shopping within their own budgets. You should not be going into debt to give gifts. You may have spent a little or a lot. So long as it is within your budgeted amount, that is what is important.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“无礼的行为是评论价格，” Smith 说。“赠送者应该在自己的预算范围内购物。你不应该为了送礼而负债。你可能花了少量或大量的钱。只要在你的预算范围内，这才是重要的。”</p>
</div><h2><strong>Expecting A Gift In Return</strong></h2>
<div class="lb-trans"><h2><strong>期待回礼</strong></h2>
</div><p>“One of the most common, yet rude faux pas is once you give someone a gift and they open it with excitement, you then say, ‘So, where’s my gift?’” said Jackie Vernon-Thompson, the founder of From the Inside-Out School of Etiquette. “That is a huge no-no. A gift should never be offered with the expectation of receiving one in return. The purest form of giving is rooted in generosity, not anticipation.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“最常见且无礼的失礼之一是，当你给某人礼物，他们兴奋地打开时，你接着说，‘那么，我的礼物呢？’” From the Inside-Out 礼仪学校的创始人 Jackie Vernon-Thompson 说。“这是一个巨大的禁忌。礼物绝不应该在期待收到回礼的情况下赠送。最纯粹的赠送形式根植于慷慨，而不是期待。”</p>
</div><p>She emphasized that gifting is not about expectations but about giving freely.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>她强调，赠送不是关于期待，而是关于自由地给予。</p>
</div><p>“If you give a gift, but there are strings attached, is it really a gift?” Leighton said. “If a gift requires an explanation, that might be a sign that it’s not a great gift.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“如果你送的礼物附带条件，那它真的算是礼物吗？” Leighton 说。“如果一份礼物需要解释，那可能是它不是一份好礼物的迹象。”</p>
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<div class="lb-trans"><p><strong>生活：本周女性最搞笑的帖子（11 月 22 日至 28 日）</strong></p>
</div><p>Indeed, the only real reward is the recipient’s expression of gratitude and excitement. And if you expect a gift in return, consider that you might receive it at a different time.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>确实，唯一真正的回报是接受者的感激和兴奋的表情。如果你期待回礼，请考虑你可能会在不同的时间收到它。</p>
</div><p>“Gifting does tend to be a reciprocal relationship. But it does not always need to be concurrent,” Smith said.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“赠送确实倾向于是一种互惠关系。但它并不总是需要同时进行，” Smith 说。</p>
</div><p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/8o7JIg5s1wTwweNq7rnE3w--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/d159cb03c8bde1b40ed1edfb3a88be1b" alt="" original-src="https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/8o7JIg5s1wTwweNq7rnE3w--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/d159cb03c8bde1b40ed1edfb3a88be1b"/></p>
<p>Gifting is not about expectations. Anastasia Babenko via Getty Images</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>赠送不是关于期待。Anastasia Babenko via Getty Images</p>
</div><h2><strong>Belittling Your Gift</strong></h2>
<div class="lb-trans"><h2><strong>贬低你的礼物</strong></h2>
</div><p>Smith advised against immediately belittling your gift when you give it to the recipient.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>Smith 建议在给接受者礼物时，不要立刻贬低你的礼物。</p>
</div><p>“‘It is just something small.’ ‘I found it on sale.’ ‘It really is not a big deal.’ Stop. You are giving someone a gift, do not diminish it,” she said.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“‘这只是一些小东西。’‘我在打折时找到的。’‘这真的没什么大不了的。’ 停下。你在给某人礼物，不要贬低它，” 她说。</p>
</div><h2><strong>Giving A Thoughtless Present</strong></h2>
<div class="lb-trans"><h2><strong>送出没有心意的礼物</strong></h2>
</div><p>“Rude behavior involves giving a thoughtless gift,” said Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert, author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life” and founder of The Protocol School of Texas. “For example, something that has been visibly used or worn. Or something that is clearly not meant for them or very little thought was put into the purchase.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“无礼的行为包括送出没有心意的礼物，” 礼仪专家、书籍《更好生活的现代礼仪》的作者 Diane Gottsman 说。“例如，明显被使用或磨损的东西。或者显然不适合他们的东西，或者在购买时几乎没有考虑。”</p>
</div><p>Your gift doesn’t have to be expensive, but it should show some level of care or effort.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>你的礼物不必昂贵，但应该表现出一定程度的关心或努力。</p>
</div><p>“With gifts, it truly is the thought that counts,” Smith said. “While few would eschew a lavish gift, the closer you are with the giftee, the more thought should go into the giving.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“对于礼物，确实是心意最重要，” Smith 说。“虽然很少有人会拒绝奢华的礼物，但你与接受者的关系越亲密，赠送时就应该投入更多的心思。”</p>
</div><h2><strong>Not Considering The Recipient</strong></h2>
<div class="lb-trans"><h2><strong>不考虑接受者</strong></h2>
</div><p>“When it comes to the gift-giver, please think of who you’re giving the gift to and make it appropriate for them, not something that you want or that you’d own and that with some thought you know just isn’t right,” said August Abbott, an etiquette expert with the Q&amp;A platform JustAnswer. “It’s important to think of the person you’re giving the gift to and not your own likes, wants, needs.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“在送礼者方面，请考虑你要送给谁，并使其适合他们，而不是你想要的或你拥有的东西，并且经过一些思考你知道这并不合适，” Q&amp;A 平台 JustAnswer 的礼仪专家 August Abbott 说。“重要的是考虑你要送礼物的人，而不是你自己的喜好、需求和想要的东西。”</p>
</div><p>If you don’t know the person well, she recommended choosing a safe option like a gift card to a coffee shop or a delivery service.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>如果你对这个人不太了解，她建议选择一个安全的选项，比如咖啡店或外卖服务的礼品卡。</p>
</div><p>“Before selecting a gift, it is essential to approach the process with intention and thoughtfulness,” Vernon-Thompson said. “Consider the recipient’s personality, preferences and favorite things. The goal is to choose something they will genuinely appreciate, not an item that will be set aside or forgotten. It is often helpful to gently and subtly inquire about their wish list ― a little probing can ensure your gift truly resonates.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“在选择礼物之前，重要的是以意图和深思熟虑的方式接近这个过程，” Vernon-Thompson 说。“考虑接受者的个性、偏好和喜欢的事物。目标是选择他们真正会欣赏的东西，而不是一个会被搁置或遗忘的物品。轻微而微妙地询问他们的愿望清单通常是有帮助的——一点探询可以确保你的礼物真正引起共鸣。”</p>
</div><p><img src="https://imageproxy.pbkrs.com/https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/6vEWzRjIxIeGSPGq_EyJjg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04MzA-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/bc66abfe5028377a2e7aee790bf12061" alt="" original-src="https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/6vEWzRjIxIeGSPGq_EyJjg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04MzA-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_huffington_post_584/bc66abfe5028377a2e7aee790bf12061"/></p>
<p>Be mindful of the time and context of your gift-giving. Maryna Terletska via Getty Images</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>注意你送礼的时间和场合。Maryna Terletska via Getty Images</p>
</div><h2><strong>Giving An Uncomfortable Gift</strong></h2>
<div class="lb-trans"><h2><strong>送出不合适的礼物</strong></h2>
</div><p>“Refrain from giving personal and intimate gifts ― lingerie, robe, fragrance and the list goes on,” Vernon-Thompson advised. “These personal gifts may insinuate something beyond the present relationship. That, for sure, will cause the person to feel awkward.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“避免送出个人和亲密的礼物——内衣、浴袍、香水等等，” Vernon-Thompson 建议。“这些个人礼物可能暗示超出当前关系的东西。这肯定会让对方感到尴尬。”</p>
</div><p>She encouraged gift-givers to be mindful of the nature and depth of your relationship with the recipient from their perspective.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>她鼓励送礼者从接受者的角度考虑你们之间关系的性质和深度。</p>
</div><p>“You never want to give a gift that feels too personal, too extravagant or creates discomfort because your interpretation of the relationship was different from theirs,” Vernon-Thompson said. “When in doubt, select something neutral, appropriate and modest. Excessive spending may unintentionally create a sense of obligation ― you don’t want that.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“你绝不想送出一份过于个人化、过于奢华或让人感到不适的礼物，因为你对关系的理解与他们不同，” Vernon-Thompson 说。“如果不确定，选择一些中性、合适和适度的礼物。过度消费可能无意中造成一种负担感——你可不想这样。”</p>
</div><h2><strong>Blatantly Regifting</strong></h2>
<div class="lb-trans"><h2><strong>明显的再赠礼</strong></h2>
</div><p>People have a lot of opinions about regifting, but Smith said it’s OK so long as it’s not blatant. Giving the sweater you received from your cousin to your other cousin might be playing with fire, for instance. If you’re intentionally passing down an important family heirloom, then you can be open about its significance and history.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>人们对再赠礼有很多看法，但 Smith 表示，只要不是明显的再赠礼，这样做是可以的。例如，把你从表弟那里收到的毛衣送给另一个表弟可能是在玩火。如果你是有意传递一个重要的家族传家宝，那么你可以坦诚它的意义和历史。</p>
</div><p>“Otherwise, so long as it is new, unused, out of the original wrapping, and the first giver and the new giftee are not in the same social circles, it is perfectly acceptable to regift,” Smth said.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“否则，只要它是新的、未使用的、未拆封的，并且原赠与者和新的接受者不在同一个社交圈子里，再赠礼是完全可以接受的，” Smith 说。</p>
</div><h2><strong>Giving The Gift At An Inappropriate Time</strong></h2>
<div class="lb-trans"><h2><strong>在不合适的时间送礼</strong></h2>
</div><p>There’s etiquette in your choice of gift-giving timing as well.</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>在选择送礼的时机上也有礼仪。</p>
</div><p>“The giver should also be aware of their surroundings,” Smith said. “First, if no one else is exchanging gifts and there are others present, your gift should be tucked away until later. Second, if there is something else happening, the gift may need to wait.”</p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p>“赠与者还应该注意周围的环境，” Smith 说。“首先，如果没有其他人交换礼物，而在场有其他人，你的礼物应该暂时收起来，等到稍后再送。其次，如果正在进行其他活动，礼物可能需要等一等。”</p>
</div><h3>Related...</h3>
<div class="lb-trans"><h3>相关...</h3>
</div><ul>
<li>The Rudest Things You Can Do While Hosting Overnight Guests</li>
<li>15 Outdated Etiquette Rules You Can Throw Out, From Elbows On The Table To Funeral Attire</li>
<li>The Rudest Things You Can Do At A Holiday Party</li>
</ul>
<div class="lb-trans"><ul>
<li>在招待过夜客人时你可以做的最无礼的事情</li>
<li>15 条你可以抛弃的过时礼仪规则，从肘部放在桌子上到葬礼着装</li>
<li>在节日聚会上你可以做的最无礼的事情</li>
</ul>
</div><p><strong>Read the original on HuffPost</strong></p>
<div class="lb-trans"><p><strong>在 HuffPost 上阅读原文</strong></p>
</div>

送礼时可能表现出的最不礼貌的行为