$AST SpaceMobile(ASTS.US)

First time posting here, also documenting my first time getting close to a margin call.

Whatever the outcome, first, thank you Brother Caizi. I've been following you since you started trading Tesla with $10k last year. I've read every single post you've made over the past year, whether it was about Tesla, the small rocket, or Ferrari, and I've followed along with some of your trades (I missed the rally both times on the small rocket, which is one reason why I went all-in at a high price this time despite the risks). Due to my personality, I never commented and just lurked silently @Caizi. You've really, really done an excellent job, and I'm very grateful for all your sharing. This time, I was truly stirred by that well-known phrase about changing xx, got carried away, and I admit my mistake. I personally bought 150k of 0717 100calls (started with 0821, then as it kept falling, I moved the expiry closer), 30k of 0618 100calls, and about 50k in 2x long positions, bought on IBKR. This money was borrowed from my parents, said to be for investment. I'm now in a state of numbness and despair. This time, I lost all discipline, from an initial floating profit of 80k to frantically adding call positions. The first price I bought was the 100 call (the last addition was when the underlying was around $120), but now it's down 70-80%. I haven't opened my IBKR account for a week, really can't face it. Now writing this down to record this reckless, impulsive, and undisciplined behavior. Not asking to make money, just hoping to get some capital back. My words are chaotic. Sincerely hope friends don't go all-in on leveraged options in the future, don't let some words cloud your judgment. Sigh, I've been in a daze for almost two weeks. Surviving in the stock market is the most important thing. Absolutely, absolutely do not go all-in with leverage, stay rational. The most painful, real-money lesson.