Here's the thing.

Now when trading$Tesla(TSLA.US) , you don't need to know any technical analysis or fundamental analysis. The only thing you need to know is TMA (Trump-Musk Analysis)!

Script 1: Lovey-Dovey Edition

Trump posts on Truth Social: "Elon is a great guy, very smart, doing amazing things for America."

Musk immediately responds on X: "Appreciate the kind words, Mr. President."

TSLA price: "BRRRRRRRR!" A green candle shoots up, gapping up by $20. Call options jump from 0.1 to 3.0, and the whole world celebrates as if humanity has landed on Mars.

Script 2: Mutual Insults Edition

Trump in an interview: "You know, electric cars... I'm not a big fan. They don't go far, they cost too much. We need good old-fashioned American gasoline!"

Musk instantly posts a meme: a dinosaur with the caption "Gasoline lover."

TSLA price: "WHOOSH!" A red candle plunges through the earth's core. The 200-day moving average? Support levels? All shattered. Put options skyrocket, and the market looks like it's experiencing a financial tsunami.

Seriously! Have you two had enough fun?

One moment you're best buddies, the next you're calling each other idiots. You two fight and make up like an old married couple, while us small retail investors are caught in the middle like a dragon dance! A month's salary is spent watching your "will they won't they" soap opera, and then it's all gone!

Now, all of us TSLA shareholders aren't even shareholders anymore—we're marriage counselors! We have to monitor your interactions every damn day, scared you'll unfriend each other or suddenly convert to "love your enemies." Forget TSLA earnings calls; just start a reality show called "The Real Housewives of Mar-a-Lago & Austin" and be done with it!