After losing everything, I decided to start over.

Lost everything, no longer feeling restless, and my heart has actually calmed down, seriously thinking about how I managed to lose it all. Actually, back on October 10th, I still had over 600,000. In less than five short months, only 20,000 remained.
The main culprits were, of course, margin trading, leverage, and options. I rarely played with options before (I didn't touch them at all when the market was good); I used to sell options. It was only after losing so much that I couldn't take it anymore that I thought about using options to recoup my losses.
The options I initially bought weren't short-term either; they were long-term options of two to three months. My logic was that after falling to a certain level, it would rebound, it would recover, which was the pattern of the previous bull markets. But after October, many stocks fell and didn't recover, and the options went to zero.
Including leverage, I stopped playing with leverage long ago, but why was I still holding 2x long MSTR and 2x long Crcl? Because I thought stablecoins at 140 and MicroStrategy at just over 300 were really cheap, but I didn't expect the stablecoin could drop to 50, and MicroStrategy could also drop to just over 100.
Only after experiencing it firsthand do you realize that stocks you think are cheap can be halved and halved again. US stocks have no bottom at all. If the underlying stock is already tough, options and leverage are even more doomed.
I've basically died dozens of times. Now, I think options are completely untouchable, long-term ones included. For long-term tech stocks, like Amazon, the annual premium (we can think of it as interest) is almost 15 points. That means if its gain is less than 15 points, you lose money (that's why big funds sell options to collect rent). If it falls, that goes without saying. The reason I kept getting margin called again and again was thinking that after a big drop, it would definitely recover, but now it's proven to be a false logic. After a big drop, it can trade sideways, it can continue to slowly decline. Even if it recovers, the time cycle could be very, very long. These are all uncertain. It was only because the market was good before and recovery was fast. What the future market will be like, heaven knows.
To put it bluntly, there's nothing certain in this market. Whether a stock is cheap or expensive, we ordinary people can't really tell. So, that's that. If you really think it's cheap, just buy a little of the underlying stock, don't buy too much. Buying 10%, 20%, 30% of your portfolio is already a lot. Many people think Pinduoduo at 100, Microsoft at 400, Amazon at 200 are very cheap, but the fact is they can just not rebound for a very long time. So, forget about buying options; it's pure gambling, much less reliable than playing dice.
Options, to be frank, are a zero-sum game of picking each other's pockets, with middlemen taking spreads and fees. I don't deny that smart people can indeed make hundreds or thousands of times returns through options, but for a fool like me, with extremely bad luck, I can only honestly stick to the underlying stocks.
I struggled for a long time, and I don't want to completely exit the stock market. I've been trading stocks for five years. At least I've stepped in all the potholes; it's harder to be fooled again. As long as I calm my heart, settle down properly, learn all the lessons, first become a normal person again, earn money honestly, and then slowly average down, things will eventually get better.
I choose to forget the millions I lost, and start over from the current 20,000-something. Then, through work, continuously average down, don't touch options, only trade stocks, no margin, no leverage. This time it really hurt me to death, and I've really remembered it.

Of course, I'll also record every deposit and withdrawal. I'm wondering, in my lifetime, is it possible to break even? I also hope I won't make mistakes again.